Counselling for Abuse: How Can Therapy Help You?

Abuse comes in many forms – some aggressive, some subtle. Abuse has the potential to have long-lasting effects on a person’s physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. Seeking support through counselling and psychotherapy can be a positive first step in helping you work through – and overcome – those effects.

There are many types of abuse including domestic violence, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, modern slavery, discriminatory abuse, institutional abuse, neglect, and self-neglect.

We offer a brief description of the most common types of abuse:

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence can include acts of physical, sexual, emotional or psychological abuse between people in intimate relationships, regardless of gender, sexuality or ethnicity – and often within families. Domestic violence is defined as any type of behaviour that is deemed to be threatening, aggressive or controlling.

Domestic violence can be physical and/or psychological, and often involves isolation from support networks. Domestic violence often follows a cycle of loving behaviour, abusive behaviour, and apologetic behaviour.

Victims of domestic violence can feel trapped and afraid to speak out. They may experience fear, post-traumatic stress, shame, low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Counselling can be a powerful way of facilitating a safe environment for survivors of domestic violence to begin the process of healing, and to gain a healthier perspective and outlook on life.

Psychological or Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is defined as non-physical behaviour that is designed to control, intimidate, overpower, demean, punish or isolate another person through humiliation or fear. Emotionally abusive behaviour ranges from verbal abuse to more subtle tactics like intimidation, manipulation and refusal to be pleased. Emotional abuse can damage your confidence, leaving you feeling worthless. You may find it hard to make or keep other relationships.

Secrecy and shame often maintain the abuse. It is important to seek help and support to prevent it from becoming rooted. Working with a counsellor or psychotherapist can help you know yourself better, and escape from a cycle of powerlessness. Learning to care for your own needs and to feel entitled to be confident and respected is a good start to being able to claim your own self-esteem.


Neglect is a passive form of abuse where a perpetrator is meant to care for a victim who is unable to care for him or herself – and yet fails to provide adequate care. Neglect can include failure to provide sufficient supervision, nourishment, or medical care, or the failure to fulfil other needs that the victim is helpless to provide for him or herself. Consistent neglect can have long-term effects such as low self-esteem, attention disorders, and violent behaviour. At its extreme, it can even cause death.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is where one person does something to another that causes physical pain. It can include slapping, punching, pushing, biting, kicking, or assaulting someone with an object – causing pain and discomfort on purpose. The psychological effects of physical abuse can run deep, and can cause low self-esteem and low self-confidence, as well as anger, depression, and lack of trust.

Victims of physical abuse can benefit from counselling support to help come to terms with what has happened to them, and to gradually recover a stronger sense of self.

Sexual Abuse

There are many types of sexual abuse, including:

  • Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behaviour (rape and sexual assault)
  • Unwelcome touching
  • Inappropriate kissing, stroking, exposure of genitalia, voyeurism and exhibitionism
  • Exposing a child to pornography
  • Making sexually suggestive statements towards a child (child molestation) and non-consensual verbal sexual demands towards an adult
  • The use of a position of trust to compel otherwise unwanted sexual activity without physical force
  • Incest
  • Certain forms of sexual harassment

It can take years to build up courage to speak about sexual abuse, especially if it happened in childhood. But talking about it with a trained professional can be the first step towards processing the trauma and helping to heal the wounds.

Financial or Material Abuse

Financial abuse involves having money or other property stolen, being defrauded, being put under pressure in relation to money or other property and having money or other property misused. It involves controlling another person’s ability to acquire, use, and maintain financial resources.

Financial abuse can be involved in domestic abuse, whereby one party does not allow another to have access to necessary funds or withholds necessary funds as punishment for perceived wrongdoings. Within domestic abuse, financial abuse is a means of maintaining isolation and helplessness.

Financial abuse might look like:

  • Borrowing money and not giving it back
  • Stealing money or belongings
  • Taking pension payments or other benefits away from someone
  • Taking money as payment for coming to visit or spending time together
  • Forcing someone to make changes in wills, property, or inheritance
  • Tricking someone into bad investments
Cycles Of Domestic Abuse

Cycles Of Domestic Abuse

What is Domestic Abuse? Legally, there are ten different categories of abuse, including financial abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, modern slavery, neglect,…