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Are You In The Right Career For You?

Are You In The Right Career For You?

As the end of the tax year approaches and you have to think about doing your job appraisal, it might make sense to give your whole career direction a thorough once-over. Are you on the right path? Do you need a change of career? Here’s how to look before you make your leap.

January is the most popular month in which to make a job application, and, according to recruiters, about four million people across the UK are kicking off their job search around about now. According to recent research, more than half of UK workers have more than just a change of office scenery in mind, and would like to completely change career.

This can feel like a huge gamble. Taking a new direction will involve convincing a lot of people — employers, investors, potential colleagues, your friends and family employer that you can do the work. So the first step is to be sure that you are in the wrong job.

Here are the five key questions to ask yourself before you make the leap”

Are you still learning?

When you are learning new things in your work, your cv is growing and developing. The moment you stop learning is when your job can turn into a dead-end and you need to think about escape routes.

Do you like the people you work with?

Thirty per cent, or about a third of your life, is spent at work so if you do not feel aligned to your colleagues then that is a large chunk of time to be with people you don’t feel you can be yourself with.

Do you respect your manager and the organisation you are in?

If the aims and goals of your bosses are not ones that you would espouse yourself then it makes more sense easier to leave and find a working environment you can believe in rather than change your ethics and values

Are your ideas welcome and appreciated?

If you are not able to contribute to the team and your initiatives and thoughts are always rebuffed, your cv and your opportunities become static.

Are Sunday nights painful?

If you don’t feel you can be you when you return to work on Monday and you dread the start of the working week every single Sunday a change might be in order.

Having examined the idea of changing career and decided to go for it you need to decide what your new work direction will be. Most people, when they think about their dream job, imagine they will declare what they want to do and someone will offer them a job in that field, but that’s not how it works. The vast majority of people who describe themselves as having the dream job, designed the role themselves. You have to decide what constitutes your dream job and then go after the components systematically.

If you seek advice, people will mostly tell you to ‘follow your passion’ or ‘do what you love,’ but that is not always helpful. Not everybody feels love for passion for their work, they must just like or merely tolerate the experiences they’ve had so far.

We all want to choose a career that will make us happy, but how can we know what that is? Psychological research suggests that humans are quite bad at predicting how they will feel when doing something in the future. It’s not hard to find someone who started out thinking that they would love their chosen profession, only to wind up hating it. In fairness, how are you supposed to know if you will be happy as an investment banker, or an engineer, or a chef, or a teacher, if you haven’t actually experienced it yet?

So instead of using ‘passion’ or imagined future happiness as your guides choose a career based on your skills and values. Hopefully you will have already built some sense of what those are so this is a much better starting place.

Next think about your motivation: do you have a promotion focus? Or are your prevention-focused?

Promotion focus is when your goals are all about money, achievement, rewards, promotion and what we will gain if we pick a certain path.

Prevention focus is if you are moved by the ideas of stability, security, maintaining status, avoiding risk and hanging on to what you have  been working so hard for.

Everyone has a little of both promotion and prevention motivation, but you will have one dominant motivational focus when it comes to your work life. It is important to understand which you are and work with the specific strengths and weaknesses this gives you.

And remember not every career path is a straight line. In fact fewer and fewer career paths are straight lines these days but if you set your mind to it you will get there!

If you would like to effect a change in your life and need to discuss the next step or work on your motivations with a trained counsellor or psychotherapist, call 020 8673 4545 or email [email protected] for a confidential appointment.

Bridget Freer
Bridget Freer first trained as a print journalist and worked for many years as a freelance features writer for publications including The Sunday Times, The Times, The Observer, The Telegraph, Hello, People, Rolling Stone, Marie Claire and Psychologies. She is also the author of several books on careers and travel. Bridget is a qualified psychotherapist with an MsC in psychodynamic psychotherapy from Birkbeck, University of London.
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Baby Loss Awareness Week exists to help grow awareness and support for people who’ve lost a baby, as well as allowing grieving parents across the globe to commemorate their babies whose lives were heartbreakingly short. Many people who’ve lost a baby say they never truly get over it. Ever. A part of them will remain forever empty. Even future babies, if they come along, will never fill that gap. The loss of a baby can be devastating, whatever stage of pregnancy the couple are at – whether it’s a miscarriage (before 24 weeks), a stillbirth (after 24 weeks) or losing the baby during or after birth. Losing a baby at any stage is shocking and traumatic for the parents. A multitude of painful feelings can crowd in. Life may feel thin, sad, empty, pointless. If you know someone who’s lost a baby, it can be difficult to know what to do for the best. Nothing can take away their pain, though it might help you to understand the kind of things your friend or loved one is going through. What it’s like to live with baby loss • The parents have lost a person they thought they would spend the rest of their lives with. Not only have they lost a baby, they’ve lost the hopes and dreams of a cherished future. • It’s a bereavement that can feel just as raw as if the baby had grown up and lived a longer life. • There often isn’t much after-care in hospital, following the loss of a baby, and so the parents may be feeling abandoned and all at sea. • Some of the clinical terms used when a mother miscarries can be quite upsetting. These terms can feel depersonalising and hurtful, even though it’s just medical professionals doing their job. • Losing a baby can leave a mother feeling like a failure, as if she’s done something wrong. These feelings of guilt and self-doubt can sometimes develop into depression. • Grieving parents can feel very, very alone in their loss. No one truly understands the pain they’re going through. • They don’t want to take care of your reaction when they tell you what’s happened. Sometimes people can get so upset about the news that the bereaved parents end up taking care of the feelings of others. It’s not meant to work that way. • It can become unbearable to see other people pregnant or with babies – especially people close to them. What’s worse is people not telling them they’re pregnant, for fear of upsetting them. • The loss can sometimes affect the parents’ relationship as the partners struggle to come to terms with the loss individually and together. • Months and sometimes years down the line, they may still be mourning the baby they lost. How you can support someone through baby loss Acknowledge their loss. This is one of the toughest things for grieving parents: when people around them don’t know what to say, and so act as though nothing has happened. They want their loss to be acknowledged. Don’t let your awkwardness get in the way of that. Avoid clichés. Don’t just trot out the typical things people might say that they think will make the bereaved parents feel better – like, “oh, your baby is too good for earth and has gone to heaven,” or “well, you’ll be able to have another one soon”. That kind of phrase really doesn’t help. They want a human being in front of them who cares and who really doesn’t need to say anything – just be there. Let them talk. Losing a baby can be a lonely time. Your loved one may feel as though no one understands. Even if you don’t truly understand (and you won’t unless you’ve been through it yourself) be there with a sympathetic and caring ear. Keep your own emotions in check. They’re the ones suffering, not you. Don’t break down and make them the ones to look after you. They need your support. You can show your sadness. Of course. But you may need to be the strong one while they’re feeling vulnerable. Be sensitive to when they might need an ally. It can be hard to be around other people with babies and bumps when you’ve lost a baby. Tears can threaten at any point. Keep an eye out for when your loved one might need you to cover for them in a social gathering. Help create a socially acceptable excuse when they need a moment by themselves. Urge them to stay off social media. Facebook, Instagram etc – by their nature – showcase shiny happy people doing shiny happy things. Life events such as pregnancy and babies are often catalogued in minute detail. Especially in the early stages, it may feel healthier and safer for your friend or loved one who’s lost a baby to give social media a miss. Until they feel strong enough to engage again without breaking down. Keep an eye on their mental health. Painful emotions do pass, generally. Sometimes they don’t, especially if there are some underlying issues from earlier in life. A new loss can tap into earlier losses, with compound effect. If your friend of loved one is showing signs of tipping into depression then you may want to suggest they see a therapist who can support them through the darkness – until they’re ready to walk into the light again. For confidential support from one of our therapists, you can book an appointment by emailing appointments@theawarenesscentre.com or calling 020 8673 4545.

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