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Five Ways To Feel More Optimistic

Five Ways To Feel More Optimistic

The arrival of Spring traditionally blows in the chance of new possibilities and new options in life. The daffodils and snowdrops cropping up in our gardens are a metaphor for growth and starting afresh. Spring can be a chance to review all those resolutions you promised yourself at the beginning of the year – and set yourself some new, exciting ones. In short, Spring is a time to feel more optimistic about now and the future.

Optimism is defined as ‘hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something’. It’s the ability to think positively and to look on the bright side, to view life as a gift, and to see the world we live in as the best possible world.

But what if optimism eludes you? What if it’s hard for you to think positively because your mood is low and life feels tough? You may have got into a rut of thinking the worst, then it may be time to give your psyche a spring clean.

If you’d like to feel more optimistic through Spring, Summer and beyond, here are our suggestions…

1. Challenge your negative thoughts

If your automatic thought pattern is negative, you can start straight away to challenge your thinking. A technique you can use is to write your negative thoughts down on one side of the page. On the opposite side, re-write the thought to put a positive spin on it. Whether you believe it or not. For example, you may think “I’ve got so many things to do that I end up doing nothing and feel useless.” Challenge that by writing: “I’m spoilt for choice today and I have a lot of options in my life. I’m going to take some time to figure out what’s most important for me.” Over time, the more you challenge the negative, the more easily you can gain a positive perspective on life.

2. Clear your environment

It’s hard to feel optimistic if your surroundings are cluttered and confused. Clearing your environment on the outside can have an uplifting effect on how you feel on the inside. Plus, it will give you a huge sense of achievement once you’ve cleared out what no longer serves you.

3. Address your stress

How much time do you spend ‘on’? Do you ever allow yourself down time where you can truly relax? Or are you always running around, answering emails, taking care of others, pushing yourself to the limit? Stress can become a way of life because of commuting time, social media and 24/7 expectations. If you’re stressed then you operate in survival mode, lurching from one drama to the next. Take stock of your stress levels. Take steps to free up your thinking time. It’s hard to feel optimistic when you’re running on empty.

4. Hang out with people who support you

They say in life that people are either radiators or drains. Radiators support and enliven you, and bring happiness into your life. Drains make you feel exhausted. They compare, moan, groan, and steal your energy, robbing you of your optimism. Spend more time with the radiators in your life. Un-friend the drains.

5. Find your purpose

Studies have shown that having a purpose is a true antidote to depression. A purpose keeps you focused. It gets you up in the morning with a spring in your step. A purpose is a vision for your life that stops you from stressing over the small stuff and gets you hooked into a future that’s sunnier and optimistic. What do you want from life? Following what’s in your heart, and working every day to achieve that, is the strongest step towards having more optimism in your life.

If you feel you could benefit from professional support to boost your mood and allow more optimism in your life, give us a call on 020 8673 4545. Our Front of House team can book you in with one of our counsellors, psychotherapists or psychologists at our Clapham or Tooting centres. You can also email us on [email protected]

Karen Dempsey
With a 20-year career in print and online publishing and an MA in creative writing, Karen Dempsey has worked as a journalist, editor and copywriter and has managed large editorial teams. She is a qualified, accredited and practising psychotherapist with an MA/diploma in transpersonal integrative counselling & psychotherapy.
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Baby Loss Awareness Week exists to help grow awareness and support for people who’ve lost a baby, as well as allowing grieving parents across the globe to commemorate their babies whose lives were heartbreakingly short. Many people who’ve lost a baby say they never truly get over it. Ever. A part of them will remain forever empty. Even future babies, if they come along, will never fill that gap. The loss of a baby can be devastating, whatever stage of pregnancy the couple are at – whether it’s a miscarriage (before 24 weeks), a stillbirth (after 24 weeks) or losing the baby during or after birth. Losing a baby at any stage is shocking and traumatic for the parents. A multitude of painful feelings can crowd in. Life may feel thin, sad, empty, pointless. If you know someone who’s lost a baby, it can be difficult to know what to do for the best. Nothing can take away their pain, though it might help you to understand the kind of things your friend or loved one is going through. What it’s like to live with baby loss • The parents have lost a person they thought they would spend the rest of their lives with. Not only have they lost a baby, they’ve lost the hopes and dreams of a cherished future. • It’s a bereavement that can feel just as raw as if the baby had grown up and lived a longer life. • There often isn’t much after-care in hospital, following the loss of a baby, and so the parents may be feeling abandoned and all at sea. • Some of the clinical terms used when a mother miscarries can be quite upsetting. These terms can feel depersonalising and hurtful, even though it’s just medical professionals doing their job. • Losing a baby can leave a mother feeling like a failure, as if she’s done something wrong. These feelings of guilt and self-doubt can sometimes develop into depression. • Grieving parents can feel very, very alone in their loss. No one truly understands the pain they’re going through. • They don’t want to take care of your reaction when they tell you what’s happened. Sometimes people can get so upset about the news that the bereaved parents end up taking care of the feelings of others. It’s not meant to work that way. • It can become unbearable to see other people pregnant or with babies – especially people close to them. What’s worse is people not telling them they’re pregnant, for fear of upsetting them. • The loss can sometimes affect the parents’ relationship as the partners struggle to come to terms with the loss individually and together. • Months and sometimes years down the line, they may still be mourning the baby they lost. How you can support someone through baby loss Acknowledge their loss. This is one of the toughest things for grieving parents: when people around them don’t know what to say, and so act as though nothing has happened. They want their loss to be acknowledged. Don’t let your awkwardness get in the way of that. Avoid clichés. Don’t just trot out the typical things people might say that they think will make the bereaved parents feel better – like, “oh, your baby is too good for earth and has gone to heaven,” or “well, you’ll be able to have another one soon”. That kind of phrase really doesn’t help. They want a human being in front of them who cares and who really doesn’t need to say anything – just be there. Let them talk. Losing a baby can be a lonely time. Your loved one may feel as though no one understands. Even if you don’t truly understand (and you won’t unless you’ve been through it yourself) be there with a sympathetic and caring ear. Keep your own emotions in check. They’re the ones suffering, not you. Don’t break down and make them the ones to look after you. They need your support. You can show your sadness. Of course. But you may need to be the strong one while they’re feeling vulnerable. Be sensitive to when they might need an ally. It can be hard to be around other people with babies and bumps when you’ve lost a baby. Tears can threaten at any point. Keep an eye out for when your loved one might need you to cover for them in a social gathering. Help create a socially acceptable excuse when they need a moment by themselves. Urge them to stay off social media. Facebook, Instagram etc – by their nature – showcase shiny happy people doing shiny happy things. Life events such as pregnancy and babies are often catalogued in minute detail. Especially in the early stages, it may feel healthier and safer for your friend or loved one who’s lost a baby to give social media a miss. Until they feel strong enough to engage again without breaking down. Keep an eye on their mental health. Painful emotions do pass, generally. Sometimes they don’t, especially if there are some underlying issues from earlier in life. A new loss can tap into earlier losses, with compound effect. If your friend of loved one is showing signs of tipping into depression then you may want to suggest they see a therapist who can support them through the darkness – until they’re ready to walk into the light again. For confidential support from one of our therapists, you can book an appointment by emailing appointments@theawarenesscentre.com or calling 020 8673 4545.

How To Support Someone Who’s Lost A Baby

Give yourself a spring clean!

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How to Become a Counsellor in the UK

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    The Awareness Centre Training School

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    TAC Training School offers comprehensive training in counselling and clinical supervision, including a BACP-accredited Diploma in Integrative Counselling. We provide a clear pathway from foundation-level courses to advanced diplomas, equipping you with the knowledge, skills, and confidence to integrate theory into practice.

    Our in-house counselling placement scheme, one of the largest in the UK, ensures our trainees gain invaluable hands-on experience. Students work with diverse client groups across a variety of clinical settings through our NHS and low-cost counselling services. We are proud to partner with the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust (SLaM) and the South West London and St George’s Mental Health NHS Trust (SWLSTG).

    With training centres in Clapham (SW4) and Tooting (SW17), TAC Training School is renowned for its outstanding tutors, who deliver high-quality, supportive teaching to both aspiring and experienced therapy practitioners.

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