The celebration of Thanksgiving comes towards the end of the year, which can create a moment to think about the things we’re grateful for, take stock, gain perspective and count our blessings. Yet, in practice, you don’t have to reserve all your feelings of gratitude until the final week of November. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can bring blessings to your life all year round.
Gratitude is the quality of being thankful for what you have. Sometimes that is easier said then done. When you’re busy juggling the daily demands of life and feel constantly stressed and exhausted, gratitude isn’t often front of mind at the end of a long day. For some people it is very difficult at times to be grateful for who and what they are. People come from all walks of life. Being grateful for one person might feel far easier than for another person.
At its extreme, in the lives of people who can’t experience gratitude, then grumpiness may have long replaced cheerfulness. People may compare themselves unfavourably with others, and end up feeling ‘less than’. They may constantly criticise themselves and others, and be their own harshest critic. They can’t welcome goodness when it comes knocking on their door, and can end up feeling resentful, angry and alone. Not a great recipe for happiness.
If you have struggled with acknowledging or appreciating the goodness that comes knocking, here are three ways to bring more gratitude into your life:
Count your blessings – literally
Look around you and say thank you for what you have and who you are. Take off your critical hat for a moment and allow yourself to count up all the good things you have in your life. It may help you with this process to begin a Gratitude Journal. This is easy to do. At the end of each day, in a little book write down 10 things you are grateful for. This helps integrate gratitude into your daily life, and you may even start appreciating the little things that bring daily delight or surprising joy.
Acknowledge your courage
Sometimes life deals you a duff hand and it can take courage and determination to work with what you’ve got and transform it into something more positive. If you’ve had to endure difficulties this year or earlier in life, then again take time to reflect on the hurdles you’ve scaled, the mountains you’ve climbed, and the moments of doubt you have overcome. Take time to process what you have been through. Gain perspective on the qualities you have nurtured within you in order to get up every time life has knocked you over. It takes inner strength and resources to soldier on sometimes. Be grateful for that strength. It’s got you to where you are today.
Learn to let go
This can be a tough one. Holding onto your resentments and your anger – at other things, people or events – can put you on the moral high ground and leave you in feeling self-righteous. If you let go of your resentments, where would that leave you? And why would you let other people off? Letting go is often a process of forgiving yourself and others for what has been said and done, and coming to a place of acceptance. The journey towards gratitude will inevitably involve forgiveness and acceptance, and those steps can be hard to take. That journey often goes within – whether through a spiritual journey of meditation and self-searching, or through the process of therapy. With a therapist you can express all the blocks to forgiveness, vent your anger at all the slights against you, and cry over the hurts that others have caused you. When you feel all cried out, and you learn to see your part in the shape your life has taken, you can eventually go deeper to find a calmer, more accepting place. It is letting go of the past and of the need to be right that opens the door to goodness and gratitude.
For therapeutic support on your journey to a more forgiving and grateful life, call 020 8673 4545 or email [email protected] to book an appointment with one of our therapists.
