What is Porn Addiction?

Porn addiction is categorised as a behavioural addiction, much like gambling addiction, sex addiction, or internet addiction. The Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM-5), the manual that psychiatrists use to diagnose mental illness, has not included porn or sex addiction as a clinical diagnosis in it’s latest edition. This is due to a lack of research and a lack of agreed upon symptomatic behaviours.

However, simply because the diagnosis has not been included in this manual, does not mean that people are not suffering. For example, it was not until 1987 that homosexuality was removed from the DSM completely. Just because porn addiction is not in the DSM currently, does not mean that it will never be listed as a clinical diagnosis.

Theorists and researchers have put together lists of signs and symptoms of porn addiction, and they are similar to that of other behavioural addictions. These symptoms include:

• Being unable to stop using pornographic material (or associated behaviours) despite an effort to do so
• Experiencing cravings to view pornographic material
• Becoming angry, hostile, or irritable when asked to stop using pornography
• Keeping all or part of one’s porn use a secret from loved ones
• Feeling as though you are living a double or secret life because of porn use (this often involves feelings of shame or guilt)
• Continuing to view porn despite negative consequences such as broken relationships or job loss
• Losing track of large chunks of time due to being absorbed in porn use
• Requiring increased amounts or more explicit porn to gain the same satisfaction or thrill (this is similar to the increased tolerance levels of those with substance addictions).

Who Can Become Addicted to Porn?

Research has shown that dopamine is the common denominator in all addictions, porn addiction included (The National Institute on Drug Abuse). Dopamine is the chemical in the brain responsible for experiencing feelings of pleasure and reward. However, dopamine not only plays a role in the experience of pleasure, but also plays a role in learning and memory.

Repeated exposure to addictive substances or behaviours, such as watching pornography, causes nerve cells in the brain to communicate in such a way that couples liking something with wanting it, thus driving us to seek it out.

Many adults, and unfortunately some underage teens, watch or look at pornography. With the development of technology, pornography has never been easier to access. Pornography gets watched on free websites, paid for websites, shared on social media, and sent around via messaging services. Watching pornography in itself is not a harmful act. It is when watching pornography gets in the way of normal life, interferes with the ability to work, fulfil responsibilities, and socialise.

A number of risk factors have been identified for the development of porn addiction.

There are a number of risk factors for porn addiction. These have been split into biological, psychological, and social components.

Biological Risk Factors

The biological risk factors include a high libido, a genetic predisposition to impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, or sensation-seeking behaviour.

Psychological Risk Factors

The psychological risk factors include early exposure to sexuality or pornography, abuse, mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, impulse control disorder, and performance anxiety.

Social Risk Factors

The social risk factors include rejection, especially from a desired partner, social isolation, and peer influence.

How to Support a Partner with Porn Addiction

Porn addiction within a relationship can bring up a multitude of issues including unrealistic standards (whether perceived or real), an impact on trust within the relationship, feeling objectified or being objectified, and impacting sexual performance. In some cases porn addiction can make sexual intimacy with a partner feel redundant.

There can be feelings of shame, rejection, or even disgust when a porn addiction is uncovered in a relationship.

It is important to try to keep the lines of communication open and to be able to discuss your feelings and emotions with your partner. When discussing the addiction, whether your partner comes to you to disclose it or you confront your partner about it, it is important to remain as non-judgemental as possible in order to encourage open communication.

The best approach to dealing with any addiction is to seek professional help, however you may find that your partner is ashamed and doesn’t want to talk to anyone about their pornography addiction. It may be necessary to explain to your partner the impact that the addiction is having on you and your relationship. It might be helpful to consider seeing a counsellor that specialises in addiction or seeking the help of a couple’s counsellor to discuss how the addiction is impacting your relationship.

There is a very delicate balance that is needed here between remaining firm in not allowing the addiction to go on and understanding that it is an addiction and not necessarily a chosen behaviour. Forgiving the addiction too quickly might give your partner unspoken permission to continue or become more secretive about the behaviour. However, forgiving your partner is possible in the long-run and is not necessarily the same as condoning the behaviour or forgetting the addiction.

If you feel you would like some help tackling the issue of porn addiction or need a safe space in which to open up about how addiction is impacting your relationship, then specialised work with an addiction or relationship therapist could be an option. Just call 020 8673 4545 or email [email protected] for a confidential appointment.