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DECEMBER 10, 2018 0 A Psychotherapist’s Tips For Coping With Sad A Psychotherapist’s Tips For Coping With Sad

A Psychotherapist’s Tips For Coping With Sad

If you feel tired, low and lethargic during the winter months when daylight hours are shorter, there’s a chance you might be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) – a condition also known as winter depression or the winter blues.

There can be strong links between the weather and wellbeing, with more than half of UK adults reporting lower mood in winter months – and as many as one in three adults suffering from SAD symptoms, according to a study from The Weather Channel/YouGov. The reason for this is that the reduced sunlight can affect the feel-good chemicals in our brain, which can trigger a low mood. Most of the time the symptoms of SAD will lessen when the spring brings sunnier days and longer daylight hours, but that still means several drawn-out winter months that can feel like an endurance test when you’re low on energy and mood.

The symptoms of SAD can include:

  • Fatigue and tiredness.
  • Wanting to sleep the whole time, and perhaps struggling to get some decent sleep.
  • Craving carbs and comfort food, which can lead to weight gain.
  • Losing interest in the things you usually love.
  • Feeling irritated or agitated.
  • Trouble concentrating.
  • Experiencing feelings of hopelessness or despair.
  • Refusing invitations to social events for fear that you’ll be boring, or bored.
  • Feeling guilty that you’re letting people down, or that you’re a failure.
  • Feeling anxious that you can’t cope with everyday stresses.

Tips for coping with SAD

In our work as therapists, we often see signs of SAD in people as soon as the clocks go back. If your symptoms are severe then we would recommend speaking to your GP. Here we share some self-help strategies that may support you if you’re affected by milder symptoms of SAD…

Allow yourself to hibernate

If you know you’re not on top form socially or emotionally during the winter season, then see it as an opportunity to devote some time and space to prioritise self-care. Think of it as hibernation. Take care of all your senses, with nice things to watch, listen to, smell, taste and touch.

Let there be light

Light therapy is said to be an effective way of reducing SAD symptoms for some people. Light therapy involves exposing yourself to a light therapy box that mimics daylight. Other people may prefer to grab themselves some real daylight as and when the sun makes an appearance in winter. Sitting outside, wrapped up in, in winter sunlight can be a mood booster for some.

Know that this will pass

This can be a tricky one. When you experience low mood and energy, and feelings of worthlessness, it can be hard to remember a time when you felt good about yourself. If your symptoms are seasonally related, know that they will pass in time. Try to remind yourself of that when the days are at their darkest.

Move more

Exercise is often cited as a key weapon in the fight against depressive symptoms. Stay active in ways you enjoy.

Do an activity that puts you in flow

If you’re inside more during the winter months, find an indoor activity that absorbs you. Being in flow, doing something you adore, can help reignite your interest in life. You may want to take up a craft activity, try out new recipes in the kitchen, read books, or try a jigsaw puzzle.

Keep a journal

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can lessen their grip on you. Allow yourself to write about your sad days and your happier days, checking in daily with your mood. Journaling can help you sort through and process your emotions and gain a fresh perspective.

Talk to someone

While it can be tempting to isolate yourself, it’s healthier for you if you keep up with your social networks. Speak to friends, spend time with family, or seek out a professional if you feel you need objective support.

If you’re experiencing the winter blues and feel you could benefit from talking to a professional, then get in touch with our Front of House team to discuss seeing one of our therapists. You can reach us on 020 8673 4545 and [email protected] 

Bridget Freer
Bridget Freer first trained as a print journalist and worked for many years as a freelance features writer for publications including The Sunday Times, The Times, The Observer, The Telegraph, Hello, People, Rolling Stone, Marie Claire and Psychologies. She is also the author of several books on careers and travel. Bridget is a qualified psychotherapist with an MsC in psychodynamic psychotherapy from Birkbeck, University of London.
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Baby Loss Awareness Week exists to help grow awareness and support for people who’ve lost a baby, as well as allowing grieving parents across the globe to commemorate their babies whose lives were heartbreakingly short. Many people who’ve lost a baby say they never truly get over it. Ever. A part of them will remain forever empty. Even future babies, if they come along, will never fill that gap. The loss of a baby can be devastating, whatever stage of pregnancy the couple are at – whether it’s a miscarriage (before 24 weeks), a stillbirth (after 24 weeks) or losing the baby during or after birth. Losing a baby at any stage is shocking and traumatic for the parents. A multitude of painful feelings can crowd in. Life may feel thin, sad, empty, pointless. If you know someone who’s lost a baby, it can be difficult to know what to do for the best. Nothing can take away their pain, though it might help you to understand the kind of things your friend or loved one is going through. What it’s like to live with baby loss • The parents have lost a person they thought they would spend the rest of their lives with. Not only have they lost a baby, they’ve lost the hopes and dreams of a cherished future. • It’s a bereavement that can feel just as raw as if the baby had grown up and lived a longer life. • There often isn’t much after-care in hospital, following the loss of a baby, and so the parents may be feeling abandoned and all at sea. • Some of the clinical terms used when a mother miscarries can be quite upsetting. These terms can feel depersonalising and hurtful, even though it’s just medical professionals doing their job. • Losing a baby can leave a mother feeling like a failure, as if she’s done something wrong. These feelings of guilt and self-doubt can sometimes develop into depression. • Grieving parents can feel very, very alone in their loss. No one truly understands the pain they’re going through. • They don’t want to take care of your reaction when they tell you what’s happened. Sometimes people can get so upset about the news that the bereaved parents end up taking care of the feelings of others. It’s not meant to work that way. • It can become unbearable to see other people pregnant or with babies – especially people close to them. What’s worse is people not telling them they’re pregnant, for fear of upsetting them. • The loss can sometimes affect the parents’ relationship as the partners struggle to come to terms with the loss individually and together. • Months and sometimes years down the line, they may still be mourning the baby they lost. How you can support someone through baby loss Acknowledge their loss. This is one of the toughest things for grieving parents: when people around them don’t know what to say, and so act as though nothing has happened. They want their loss to be acknowledged. Don’t let your awkwardness get in the way of that. Avoid clichés. Don’t just trot out the typical things people might say that they think will make the bereaved parents feel better – like, “oh, your baby is too good for earth and has gone to heaven,” or “well, you’ll be able to have another one soon”. That kind of phrase really doesn’t help. They want a human being in front of them who cares and who really doesn’t need to say anything – just be there. Let them talk. Losing a baby can be a lonely time. Your loved one may feel as though no one understands. Even if you don’t truly understand (and you won’t unless you’ve been through it yourself) be there with a sympathetic and caring ear. Keep your own emotions in check. They’re the ones suffering, not you. Don’t break down and make them the ones to look after you. They need your support. You can show your sadness. Of course. But you may need to be the strong one while they’re feeling vulnerable. Be sensitive to when they might need an ally. It can be hard to be around other people with babies and bumps when you’ve lost a baby. Tears can threaten at any point. Keep an eye out for when your loved one might need you to cover for them in a social gathering. Help create a socially acceptable excuse when they need a moment by themselves. Urge them to stay off social media. Facebook, Instagram etc – by their nature – showcase shiny happy people doing shiny happy things. Life events such as pregnancy and babies are often catalogued in minute detail. Especially in the early stages, it may feel healthier and safer for your friend or loved one who’s lost a baby to give social media a miss. Until they feel strong enough to engage again without breaking down. Keep an eye on their mental health. Painful emotions do pass, generally. Sometimes they don’t, especially if there are some underlying issues from earlier in life. A new loss can tap into earlier losses, with compound effect. If your friend of loved one is showing signs of tipping into depression then you may want to suggest they see a therapist who can support them through the darkness – until they’re ready to walk into the light again. For confidential support from one of our therapists, you can book an appointment by emailing appointments@theawarenesscentre.com or calling 020 8673 4545.

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