THERAPY SERVICESTRAINING SCHOOL
LOCATIONS
TOOTINGCLAPHAMMARYLEBONE
CALL 020 8673 4545BOOK AN APPOINTMENT
Product has been added to your basket.
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
    • THE AWARENESS CENTRE
      • About The Awareness Centre
      • The Team
      • Centre News
      • Media
      • Collaborative Partners & External Agencies
    • OUR PRACTICES
      • TAC Clapham
      • TAC Tooting
      • TAC Marylebone
      • How to Find Us
    • THE DIRECTOR
      • Michaela McCarthy
  • THERAPY SERVICES
    • NHS THERAPY SERVICES
      • NHS Lambeth
      • NHS Wandsworth
      • NHS Sutton
      • Our NHS Therapists
      • NHS Multilingual Counselling
    • PRIVATE THERAPY SERVICES
      • Online Counselling & Telephone Therapy
      • Low Cost Counselling, Psychotherapy & Counselling Psychology
      • Counselling
      • Psychotherapy
      • Psychology
      • Our Low Cost Therapists
      • Our Private Therapists
      • Private Healthcare Providers
    • SPECIALIST THERAPY SERVICES
      • Addiction Counselling
      • Anger Management Therapy
      • Bereavement Counselling
      • Child & Adolescent Counselling
      • Couples Counselling
      • Eating Disorders Therapy
      • Family Therapy
      • LGBTQ+ Counselling
      • Multilingual Counselling
      • Sex & Relationship Therapy
      • Trauma Counselling & Psychotherapy
    • FURTHER INFORMATION
      • Types of Issues
        • Abuse
        • Addiction
        • ADHD
        • Anger
        • Anxiety Disorders
        • Asperger’s Syndrome
        • Attachment Disorder
        • Bereavement and Loss
        • Body Dysmorphic Disorder
        • Bullying
        • Cancer
        • Carer Support
        • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
        • Communication
        • Dementia
        • Depression
        • Disability
        • Dissociation
        • Eating Disorders
        • Family and Relationships
        • Gender & Identity
        • Guilt and Shame
        • Hearing Voices
        • HIV/AIDS
        • Illness
        • Infertility
        • Isolation & Loneliness
        • Learning Difficulties
        • Life Transitions
        • Low Self-Esteem
        • Mental Health
        • Paranoia
        • Passive Aggressive Behaviour
        • Personality Disorders
        • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
        • Pregnancy & Childbirth
        • Psychosis
        • Rape
        • Redundancy
        • Schizophrenia
        • Self-Harm
        • Sex and Relationships
        • Sexuality
        • Spirituality
        • Stress
        • Suicidal Thoughts
        • Tourette’s Syndrome
        • Trauma (Child & Adult)
        • Trichotillomania
        • Workplace Issues
      • Frequently Asked Questions
      • Resources
      • Approaches to Therapy
      • Client Testimonials
      • Book an Appointment
  • FEES
  • TAC TRAINING SCHOOL
    • Meet the Faculty
    • Foundation Certificate in Counselling
    • Diploma in Integrative Counselling
    • Diploma in Clinical Supervision
    • Diploma in Working with Couples
    • Corporate Mental Health Workshops
    • Testimonials for the Foundation Certificate
    • Testimonials for the Diplomas
  • PRIVATE PRACTICE
    • Private Practice
    • Hire A Room
    • Wimpole Street Practice
    • Join TAC Directory
    • Therapist Testimonials
  • BLOG
  • WORK AT TAC
  • COUNSELLING PLACEMENT
    • Counselling Placement
    • Counselling Placement Testimonials
    • Placement Training Testimonials
  • CONTACT
    • Appointment Request
    • Contact Us
How To Spot Obsessive-Compulsive Behaviours

How To Spot Obsessive Compulsive Behaviours

How many times have you heard people describe themselves as ‘OCD’ when they talk about the effort they put into maintaining their clean kitchens, tidy cupboards and neat magazine racks?

Yet there is a whole lot more to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder, or obsessive compulsive personality disorder) than a strong preference for order and cleanliness. And people can have some of the behaviours and traits without having a full-blown condition that needs psychiatric support.

Understanding the origins of obsessive compulsive behaviours

The obsessive personality structure is also known as the ‘anally retentive personality’. Freud says that the roots of this personality structure come from the potty-training stage where there’s a battle over who has control.

If parents are anxious to do the right thing and be ‘proper’ parents, they can lean too heavily on discipline and perfectionism and the advice of strict parenting manuals rather than parenting intuitively and playing to the strengths of the individual child. There can often be no margin for error, and the child has to be perfect – and seen to be perfect – at all costs, or there will be a punishment. The child can then internalise that strictness as though it has a permanent judge of what is right or wrong, which can feel paralysing at times.

The other end of the spectrum is a child who grows up in a chaotic environment. Perhaps the parents were absent or alcoholic or rowing, or just plain disorganised. Children can compensate for a lack of order in their lives by creating their own rules and strong values to live by, which gives them a structure that was missing from the family unit. Either way, the behaviours that emerge from these situations can be classed as obsessive compulsive.

Obsessive compulsive personality behaviours

Here we identify the typical behaviours and traits of an obsessive compulsive personality, which you may recognise in yourself or others:

    • You worry most days about what might happen to you, your belongings, your loved ones, or the whole world. You could win an Olympic medal in worrying.
    • You overthink everything, from what people say to you, what they think of you, what you said to them, whether you’ve done the right thing. The process of overthinking can be exhausting.
    • You find it hard to let go of hurt or resentment – hence the ‘anally retentive’ aspect of your personality. This can manifest in stubbornness and cutting your nose off to spite your face, but you will hold onto your opinion and stance from a feeling of self-righteousnesss.
    • Your inner critic is dominant in your psyche. It feels as though someone is sitting in judge and jury over your life, and you have to second-guess that judge to get things right. You lose touch with who you truly are and what you truly want as all your energy goes into satisfying this inner judge.
    • You may develop little rituals that help protect you against feelings of fear or unease. Those rituals may involve checking several times, or washing your hands after you touch certain things. You may hoard or be concerned about having your possessions logged and arranged in perfect alphabetical order. It is when these rituals take over your day that they can become an issue.
    • Friends may find you ‘uptight’ and you hate being told to chill out, feeling you need to be hyper-vigilant and contained and alert in the face of some unspecified danger.
    • You may feel proud of making things perfect – whether it’s a symmetrically laid-out dinner table, or a string of awards and achievements. Yet the need to be perfect can lead to unhelpful behaviours such as procrastination, self-criticism and self-doubt.

How to help yourself if you have obsessive compulsive traits

Find a therapist. Therapy can help you understand the origins of your worries and help you identify some more helpful coping strategies that don’t involve ritual or obsessive thinking. Therapy can help you understand your fears also help you get your know a deeper sense of self that isn’t dependent on an outer jury deciding your every move.

Distract your anxiety. Instead of ruminating in the anxious thoughts running around your head, distract yourself by doing something physical that takes you out of your head and into your body. This can include exercise, singing, gardening, knitting, cooking, dancing. Anything that absorbs your mind and takes you away from your thoughts.

Keep a thoughts log. This is a classic intervention from CBT, where your negative thoughts or behaviours can be challenged. Write down your negative thought and how much you believe it. Then challenge that thought by coming up with evidence to the contrary. The anxious part of your brain will eventually begin to trust the evidence that is more supportive.

Get in touch with your feelings. Obsessive thinking can lead to a tendency to rationalise and defend and end up cut off from feelings. Again, therapy can help you gradually soften your defences and be kinder to yourself.

Accept that you’re human. If you have an obsessive compulsive personality then it may be incredibly hard to forgive yourself for any perceived faults, or to have compassion for yourself or others. This can stem from your parents’ need for you to be perfect. Can you begin to let go of this need for perfection, and take a lighter approach to things that go wrong in your life? Again, a therapist can help you work through your biggest challenges here.

For confidential advice and support, and to discuss booking an appointment with one of our therapists, please call 020 8673 4545 or email [email protected].

Karen Dempsey
With a 20-year career in print and online publishing and an MA in creative writing, Karen Dempsey has worked as a journalist, editor and copywriter and has managed large editorial teams. She is a qualified, accredited and practising psychotherapist with an MA/diploma in transpersonal integrative counselling & psychotherapy.
Six Signs Your Low Mood May Be Turning Into Depression
Five Signs You’re Ready For A New Relationship

Related Posts

Three ways to tackle exam stress

Three ways to tackle family anxiety around exam time

How To Spot A Narcissist

How To Spot A Narcissist

Phobias Explained: How To Try To Make Sense Of Irrational Fear

Phobias Explained: How To Try To Make Sense Of Irrational Fear

Back to the future

Make 2015 the year you look back to the future

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill out this field
Fill out this field
Please enter a valid email address.

Subscribe to our newsletter



    Please add me to the list

    Categories

    • Abortion
    • Abuse
    • Acute Stress Disorder
    • Addiction
    • ADHD
    • Agoraphobia
    • Alcoholism
    • Anger Management
    • Anxiety
    • Ask Michaela
    • Attachment
    • Bereavement & Loss
    • Bipolar
    • Borderline Personality Disorder
    • Bullying
    • Children and Adolescents
    • Co-Dependency
    • Coaching
    • Coronavirus
    • Counselling
    • Counselling Placements
    • Couples
    • Dementia
    • Depression
    • Divorce
    • Domestic Violence
    • Dreams
    • Eating Disorders
    • Echoism
    • Ecopsychology
    • Empty Nest Syndrome
    • Family
    • Guilt
    • Health
    • Imposter Syndrome
    • Infertility
    • Insomnia
    • LGBTQ
    • Life Stories
    • Loneliness
    • Masochism
    • Meditation
    • Menopause
    • Mental Health
    • Mindfulness
    • Narcissism
    • News
    • OCD
    • Panic Attacks
    • Parenting
    • Personal Development
    • Personality Disorders
    • Porn
    • Postnatal Depression
    • Pregnancy
    • Psychology
    • Psychosexual
    • Psychotherapy
    • PTSD
    • Relationships
    • Sadness
    • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
    • Self Esteem
    • Self-Care
    • Self-Harm
    • Sex
    • Sexual Harassment
    • Sleep
    • Social Anxiety Disorder
    • Stress
    • Suicide
    • The Awareness Centre
    • Therapy
    • Training School
    • Trauma
    • Uncategorized
    • Workplace Issues

    TAC Brochure

    DOWNLOAD

    TAC has BACP Membership

    TAC Clapham

    41 Abbeville Road
    London SW4 9JX
    [email protected]
    020 8673 4545

    Available Services

    check_circle
    Low Cost Therapy
    check_circle
    Private Therapy

    Appointments

    Monday – Thursday:
    7.00am – 10.00pm

    Friday:
    7.00am – 9.00pm

    Saturday:
    9.00am – 5.30pm

    Sunday:
    10.00am – 2.00pm

    TAC Tooting

    74-80 Upper Tooting Road
    London SW17 7PB
    [email protected]
    020 8673 4545

    Available Services

    check_circle
    Private Therapy

    Appointments

    Monday – Thursday:
    7.00am – 10.00pm

    Friday:
    7.00am – 9.00pm

    Saturday:
    9.00am – 5.30pm

    TAC Marylebone

    85 Wimpole Street
    London W1G 9RJ
    [email protected]
    020 8079 0708

    Available Services

    check_circle
    Private Therapy

    Appointments

    Tuesday and Thursday:
    8.00am – 12.00pm

    Email
    Facebook
    Twitter
    LinkedIn
    YouTube
    Instagram
    Pinterest

    © 2022 The Awareness Centre Ltd.

    • OUR THERAPISTS
    • TYPES OF ISSUES
    • OUR LANGUAGES
    • FAQS
    • HOW TO FIND US

    The Awareness Centre Limited. A company registered in England and Wales, Number: 06194423. Registered Office: 74-80 Upper Tooting Road, London, England, SW17 7PB.  Trading as The Awareness Centre.

    This site uses cookies and data collection for personalised advertising. Your data may be shared with third parties for this purpose. Learn more about how we collect data and use cookies, and check that you consent. Manage PreferencesI Consent Learn more
    Privacy & Cookies Policy

    Privacy Overview

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
    Necessary
    Always Enabled
    Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
    Non-necessary
    Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
    SAVE & ACCEPT